you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
