Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
