I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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