Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
