think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
