guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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