I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
