Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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