I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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