Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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