she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
