it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
