so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
