my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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