did you get engaged???
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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