eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Randomize
