i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
