he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
