Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
