So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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