I didn't shave. On purpose
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's the barista slut.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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