i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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