What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
