I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
