Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
