if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
