Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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