return my video game
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
