dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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