I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize