He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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