I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
