susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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