k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Barsexuality is the new black.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
