the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
