I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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