We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
