I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize