we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
