summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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