My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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