No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
