Ambien. No doubt about it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
