Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
