I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
