He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Drunk is a universal language darling
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