I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
