Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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