Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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