I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
