Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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