I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
