we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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