i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
