Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
