Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
