Yo dont text me then not text me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can I color on your dick again?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
