508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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