marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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