1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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